i’m standing at the pharmacy counter, feeling like megadeath and buying my prescriptions. And when i say “megadeath”, i mean as in death-warmed-over/undead/please-kill-me-now dead. Not Megadeth, the awesome metal band, which, despite their whining about how Metallica stole all their stuff, always make me want to jump in a mosh pit and bang my head […]

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i have come to the last day of my life and it is time to contemplate all that i have done and all that i have left to do. i have seen the doctor and he has diagnosed me with an incurable, fatal disease that will steal all happiness from the world and slowly eat […]

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Today i blew my nose so hard i got vertigo and fell off the toilet into a pile of cats. Now, That’s something you don’t say every day.   i bet you could go your whole life and not have that happen to you. Maybe. i don’t know. It seemed pretty easy to me. What […]

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i have been down for days with the mother-of-all chest colds. i really should have seen it coming. i spent all winter at first marveling about how i managed to dodge everybody else’s bugsĀ and then practically bragging about my awesome autoimmune skills. i mean, my two office mates were out with major viruses twice and […]

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i may seem slightly preoccupied with bugs these days. To be more specific… it might seem i’m more than slightly preoccupied with COCKROACHES who are another category of “bug” altogether. There are bugs that border on cute, like ladybugs or that bug in A Bug’s Life (which is still one of my favorite Disney/Pixar movies […]

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There are days and then there are DAYS, where i make procrastination into an art form. DAYS when i just don’t have it in me to do anything productive even though i have the time, all of my basic survival needs are met and i am in optimal health. Good health. Ok..’decent’…but above ‘alarming’. Mostly. […]

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Hello, i’m candice and i am a sugar addict. At least, that’s what my the Man, my good friends and my scale all say. Two out of three of those also say sugar is a drug. (i don’t know what the scale says. It’s not talking anymore. It may or may not have suffered some […]

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But science still sucks. i just learned that facial expressions don’t accurately convey emotionsĀ from top ranked neuroscientist, Lisa Feldman Barrett, who uses actual SCIENCE to figure stuff out instead of Facebook feeds and Gut Instincts which i capitalize, because, that’s pretty much my own M.O. and it ROCKS. i’m totally F-I-E-R-C-E. Dude. But i don’t […]

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To prevent me from getting to Starbucks for a venti iced cinammon macchiato with coconut milk, obvously! Duh.   Or at least, that is all my screaming, caffeine-deprived mind can think of as a group of turkeys wander across the small-town road in front of me, blocking traffic in both directions. The big male turkey […]

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Yesterday my coworker arrived at work bright and early (waaaaaay before me – i hate morning people) and unlocked our office door. As she opened it to turn on the lights and off the alarm (it doesn’t work the other way! i’ve tried!) a large bug raced out from the dark office into the light […]

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