Viva Las Vegas!!!

i’m here in sunny San Jose International Airport waiting to fly to even sunnier Las Vegas, NV. It’s spring break and i have an entire week to party!! (And by “party”, i mean lounge by the pool, lounge in the spa, eat good food, lounge some more…i am a real party animal.)

As i set off on another sure-to-be eventful adventure, i thought i would give you some laugh out loud moments from a previous adventure – China. In China, many signs are translated into English. The Chinese are very open to visitors and delight in Americans and their quaint ways. The Chinese government tries to make China more navigable by making sure all important signage is also provided in English. However – they either used Google translate to create these English signs and called it good or their quality-control guy lied on his application as to how good his English really was because there is DEFINITELY something lost in translation here.


While taking a break at a beautiful national park, i found this sign which may possibly be the title of the next song my band writes:

It’s almost poetic…like a haiku….


Upon entering our bathroom at the hotel in Beijing, we were cautioned here by our well-meaning Chinese hosts:

Kinda like Graceland…only slippyer……


i had to ask our Chinese friend exactly what this was trying to tell me. She said that the toilets in this facility (which are drains in the ground – you squat over them…at least some folks squat…my prime squatting days are long gone..don’t ask how i managed the whole Number 1 thing) are not equipped to handle Number 2. So Number 2 is not allowed here. Let’s hope my bowels got the memo:

Kinda like “Ban Apartheid”. Actually, EXACTLY like “Ban Apartheid”.


i can’t tell you exactly all the things we were not allowed to do in this park, but they may have included playing a trombone, sniper attacks and nuclear explosions:

We spent quite a bit of time with this one. Wouldn’t want to break any rules.


And finally, for this post at least, the restroom sign we found in a bonafide Chinese cocktail/hookah lounge complete with karaoke crooners:

Here, we just forego any obscurities of translations and make it perfectly clear what we are talking about


Have a great Spring Break wherever you are!!




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