It’s 7:00 am and the alarm goes off. i bounce out of bed, eager for the day ahead. i quickly feed the dog, shower, get dressed, and throw the last few essentials into my already packed suitcase. It is 7:45 am and it’s time to hit the road! i load the dog into the car, where […]

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i’m standing at the pharmacy counter, feeling like megadeath and buying my prescriptions. And when i say “megadeath”, i mean as in death-warmed-over/undead/please-kill-me-now dead. Not Megadeth, the awesome metal band, which, despite their whining about how Metallica stole all their stuff, always make me want to jump in a mosh pit and bang my head […]

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i have come to the last day of my life and it is time to contemplate all that i have done and all that i have left to do. i have seen the doctor and he has diagnosed me with an incurable, fatal disease that will steal all happiness from the world and slowly eat […]

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Today i blew my nose so hard i got vertigo and fell off the toilet into a pile of cats. Now, That’s something you don’t say every day.   i bet you could go your whole life and not have that happen to you. Maybe. i don’t know. It seemed pretty easy to me. What […]

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“Ummm….I’m sorry….but you have smoothie on your shoe,” is not what you’d expect someone to say after you’ve just spent three hours with them in a professional capacity. Questions come to mind. Wait…what? Smoothie? How did she notice that? And why did she wait until i was LEAVING to tell me? These situations are so […]

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